When someone steps into their first management role, I often see them fall into one of two mental traps:

"This will be easy!"

"This is way too hard!"

Two extremes.

Both wrong.

Both completely normal.

And both in serious need of support.

The first extreme: "This will be easy!"

These managers were often high performers as individual contributors. They've excelled in their field. They've been told they're "a natural leader."  They expected the promotion and assumed that managing others is the next logical step.

And so they walk into the role with  overconfidence. 

But then reality kicks in; a team member pushes back.  A tough conversation doesn't go well.  Leadership from above is vague and constantly shifting.

Suddenly, the job isn't just about results — it's mainly about people. People with emotions. Expectations. Personal goals. Resistance.

So they start to see that leading isn't a checklist.  And being a great individual contributor doesn't automatically translate to being a great leader. Far from that. 

The "easy" crowd learns fast — mostly through failure — that managing people is far more nuanced than they expected.

The second extreme: "This is way too hard."

This group enters leadership filled with anxiety; they second-guess every decision.  They fear they're not cut out for it.

They believe they need to become someone else entirely — more assertive, more extroverted, more experienced, more... perfect.

They spend more time worrying about getting it wrong than actually leading.

This often leads to paralysis; they hesitate to give feedback.  They avoid conflict.  They focus on doing the work themselves rather than empowering others.

And the worst part?  They think they're the only ones who feel this way.

The truth is this:

Leadership will challenge the cocky.

And it will rattle the scared.

But here's what most new managers don't realize: leadership is so not about knowing it all!

It is of paramount importance that you're being willing to learn.  Willing to listen, reflect, and grow. Willing to get feedback — and not take it personally.  Willing to fall short and come back stronger.

In short: leadership rewards the learnable and the brave. 

What leadership really is

It's not a status.  It's not a title.  It's not charisma or seniority or power.

It's a skill.  It's a mindset.  It's a muscle.

A muscle it can be built. It can be stretched. It can be strengthened if you're willing to train it over time.

But here's the catch:  you won't build that muscle by reading a leadership book.  Or by sitting in on one corporate training.  Or by white-knuckling your way through it alone. At least not to its fullest capacity. 

What happens when the proper support is in place

When new managers get the right kind of guidance — something transformational happens to the extremes:

 ✅ The "easy" crowd gets humbled in a healthy way; they stop coasting. They start listening. They become more grounded, more self-aware, more intentional.

✅ The "too hard" crowd begins to see their potential. They gain confidence. They stop hiding. They show up. They lead.

They both make faster progress — because they're supported.

Final thought

If you're a new manager and find it more challenging than expected, you're not failing.  You're just facing what every new manager faces — whether they admit it or not.

You don't need to be "a natural".  But you do need to be open.  Open to feedback. Open to growth. Open to support.

So wherever you are — whether you thought it would be a breeze or you're still trying to breathe — don't try to figure it out alone.

It will either take you too long, or wear you down before you've even truly started. And that's not the leadership path you want to take.

ACTION STEP:

If you're looking for structured, practical support that helps you go from surviving to leading with clarity and confidence, I've created a free workshop that might be your next best step.  Click the link below 👇